Born in London on 16 February 1944, Alec Parley grew up in a post-war council-maintained flat in Chelsea. He attended Marlborough Primary School before winning a place at Emanuel in 1955, having only narrowly missed a place at Christ’s Hospital.
Cricket – 1960 – Alec is in the back row, third from the left
At school he was known to everyone as Spud, a nickname he was keen to shake off once moving on and which was preserved only by a few contemporaries. Passing through the EX and Upper Arts streams he went on to study Geography at Durham where in his final year he was elected Deputy Senior Man at University College and captain of the university cricket team.
In the summer of 1963, he took 66 wickets for the school 1st XI which, according to Wisden, was the highest number achieved by any schoolboy bowler in the country that season. He was the star bowler in the renowned 1st XI captained by Vic Dodds which carried all before them. Alec’s achievement marked the end of a successful school sporting and academic career which also included 1st XV rugby triumphs and finally a place at Durham University that autumn.
Cricket 1962 – Alec is first on the left sitting down
At Emanuel he was one of a close friendship group which included, among others, Michael Stewart, Peter Barker, Mike Ford, Laurie Robinson and Malcolm Appleby, a group which has kept in touch to the present day. They shared sporting and academic interests including hitch-hiking to the south of France and beyond in the summers of 1962 and 1963. He was one of a similar group of close friends at Durham which has had reunions every year (bar Covid) for over 30 years.
Alec’s immense popularity made him a pivotal figure in such groups. He had a great sense of humour and was quite simply the best teller of jokes I have ever encountered. His repertoire was extensive and embraced both the subtle and the bawdy. His telling was joyful, skilful and irrepressibly infectious, sometimes accompanied by an eye-catching physical performance.
OEA Cricket -1964 Alec is on the back row, third from the left
He met his future wife, Kate, on a plane bound for the Costa Brava in 1964. She too was at Durham but this was a coincidental as well as a highly romantic encounter. They married in the University College Chapel with a reception in the Castle in 1967.
On leaving Durham, Alec took a teaching post at Wallasey Grammar School in Cheshire, but he and Kate, now a primary school teacher, were soon tempted by an extremely lucrative offer from the City of Toronto Education Board where they went in 1969 for a trial year or so but where they remained. Alec liaised with local schools, notably York Mills, when they hosted Emanuel’s 1981 rugby tour. He was an inspirational and extremely popular teacher both in the classroom and on the sports field. He became a co-founder of York Cricket Club and played until he was 52, sometimes alongside former West Indian international players.
He continued with other sporting pursuits, most notably golf where he judged his success by the number of balls he found in the long grass. He ran two marathons and completed the Trans-Pennine Walk when in his fifties.
While teaching he developed an interest in antique maps and prints. Discovering that many others shared this interest, he set up his own business in 1984 with premises at the Toronto Harbourfront Antique Market and in the late nineties created his own website using eBay before most other people had even heard of it. It became a family business involving Kate and daughter Jane and was a huge success. Never let it be said that Alec ever missed out on a bargain or a good deal whenever he saw one. This success, together with a generous redundancy offer (bargains again!) enabled him to retire at only 54 years of age.
His interests in reading, theatre and travel expanded considerably. He developed a serious taste for fine wine and, perhaps surprisingly, a love of opera, but his eye for a bargain sometimes lead him to make bizarre sartorial choices. He also wrote and had published an autobiography which he dedicated to his beloved grandchildren.
Love of family was an absolute constant in his life. He enjoyed an affectionate relationship with his parents and retained a lifelong bond with his two brothers, Ian and Graham, both OEs and both very successful in their professional lives. Ian’s son Simon has, of course, breathed life into the OE Rugby Club. Alec remained steadfastly loyal to that girl he met on a plane and, for all his bluster, depended on her utterly in so many ways. His son, Andrew and daughter, Jane, together with Kate, Ian, Graham and their families gave Alec unstinting care and attention during the final extremely distressing days of his life.
Alec died at home in Toronto, Canada, on 13 October 2024 after a relatively short battle with a very aggressive cancer. His devotion to his family was more than reciprocated. To his friends he was invariably generous, loyal, warm and honest, utterly devoid of any mean-spiritedness or any sense of ego. He laughed a lot, was full of fun and delightfully mischievous. The company he provided was always invigorating. It’s hard to accept that such a joyous and life-affirming man is no longer with us.
Michael Stewart, friend (OE1955-63)